A very, very dear friend of mine moved away several months ago. Sometimes I think it shouldn’t be such a big deal. She only moved 3 hours away. So far we’ve seen quite a bit of one another, and the time spent together since has been quality. With no such thing as long distance phone calls and the internet shrinking the universe, keeping in touch is not the dilemma it once was. Still, I don’t call as often as I should because kids are getting ready for school or we‘re eating lunch or it‘s nap time and there is no way I‘m calling during dinner prep time. Facebook isn’t keeping us as connected as I would like. And while I go about my busy life doing my busy things and spending time with other friends, I keep her in the back of my mind. I wish she was here. I miss her wise words, insights and her ability to keep track of all of my appointments.
With joy, sadness and a little divine nudge, I came upon a recent blog post of hers. I asked if I could share it. She said sure, so here it is. Not in it’s entirety, but in it’s essence. Maybe you need permission today too.
-Andrea
Beth Moore in her Breaking Free study on the day of "Hearts Broken by Loss" after listing a bunch of losses she went through including death of someone close to her, the loss of a 7-year foster son of theirs, two of her best friends moving away and more, she says this:
"Many emotions have swept over me during the last two years, but if you asked which emotion served as the common denominator, I would not hesitate to say grief. In fact, I was somewhat taken aback over the feelings of grief accompanying the moving of my two best fiends. The grieving seemed out of place to me in relation to my other losses yet oddly unavoidable."
Then the question for the reader to answer was this:
"What about you? Have you ever experienced feelings of grief that surprised you or almost seemed inappropriate through a change in jobs, homes, health or relationships?"

And then I could totally relate to her when she's talking about her two friends leaving. She says "With the departure of my two best friends I experienced the death of instant camaraderie, of expected company at many events, of relationships I had known for many years and of pure togetherness. Best friendships with long histories are not easy to replace."
I would add to this... the departure of small "seemingly" insignificant things like quick phone calls for clarification on something said earlier or to ask for a recipe or to confirm a time or date; of spontaneous get-togethers; of sharing small details of our lives and partaking in the daily grind together. The departure of feeling needed and like I was contributing to a relationship whether it was watching kids, being a listening ear, or making a meal. The departure of all the little things that make close friendships; real-life friendships what they are.

My life has changed. Things are different; they never will be the same. But "I have the invitation from Christ to rise to a new life - a more compassionate life, a wiser life, a more productive life. And yes, even a better life." (Beth Moore, again!). I still don't have "friends" here per se, but I am experiencing joys. There is life, because He is the Resurrection and the Life! What hope He brings!
Betsy is learning the ropes (that may be a poor choice of words) of a new life with her husband and two boys waaaay up in Seattle.
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