Friday, December 10

A Victorious Marriage: Little Moments of Win (Part 2 of 2)

Read Romans 7:7-25 (If you read it yesterday, read it again).

Today’s post picks up where yesterday’s left off. If you missed it, read part one here.

Victory in Desires. I struggle here... I suspect that we all do. The progression of an idol shows us that we can have good, innocuous or bad desires. If you have a good or neutral desire but you escalate it to a demand, you are on the path to conflict. The desires can be small; in my teaching during my former life at PM, I would illustrate this with my desire for back rubs from my husband. He was so eager (and good!) to give me back rubs while we were dating and during the first 3 months of our marriage. Then the thrill wore off for him... but not my desire for them. Do I demand backrubs from him and punish him when he doesn't fulfill my demands? Or do I do battle with my desires and recognize where they are leading me? There are little desires like this (I pretty much desire that HH do anything that makes my life easier), and there are big desires that affect major life decisions. As the song says, "You can't always get what you want." I like to think that by training my soul to be victorious over my smaller desires, I am preparing my heart to be victorious over bigger desires/demands as well.

Victory in Asking Nicely. This is a bit of a follow-up to the "desires" bit ... there's nothing wrong with giving my husband the opportunity to meet my desires or to help/serve me. HH is a foot taller than I am; I asked him nicely the other day if he would change some lightbulbs for me -- it's a lot easier for him to reach up to do it than for me to climb perilously on a chair (even more perilous now that I'm 38 weeks pregnant!), and he was happy to comply. What if he hadn't done it right away? Be patient, ask again nicely, or overlook and do it myself. No biggie. Another part of being 38 weeks pregnant is that everything on my body aches, so I now ask him more for the massages that I desire. Nicely, without expectation, and grateful when he finds joy in serving me in this way.

Victory in Gratitude. HH does a lot of things that make my life easier. I haven't had to worry about caring for the outside of our house since we got married (and this after being the sole lawn-mower for 3 years!). He washes my car and puts gas in it. He carries heavy bags for me. He does the dishes that have been building up in the sink for two days while I'm still in bed in the morning! I could go on and on ... I think that the point at which I begin to take these things for granted or expect them is a defeat. To live in gratitude is victory.

Victory in Serving. This is the last one that comes to mind for me right now; I count it a small victory when I get out of my self-centered shell and ask myself, "How can I serve or bless my husband today?" Sometimes it's just being excited to see him and spending time doing what he wants to do; sometimes it's giving him permission to be busy with work or other friends. Sometimes it's writing him a love note or telling him that I'm proud of him; sometimes it's making him lunch. Sometimes it's asking him, "How can I bless you today?" I am living in defeat when my world shrinks to the size of my world (a Paul Tripp-ism, I think); I am living in victory when I reach outside of myself to serve others in love. And that service begins with my nearest neighbor.

Find the little victories in your relationship with your closest neighbor. Live in resurrection power today.

Molly writes for Brittle, Crazy Glass and is a lover of her husband, travel, dogs, mountains, photography, reading, movies, gardening, white chocolate mochas, theology, history, languages and cooking. And she is learning more and more how to be a lover of my Lord and His people.

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