Monday, November 15

My story.

Posted by Alysun

Read James 1 (my favorite passage)

I wish I could say that godly mothering was a natural progression for me. I was raised in a safe, loving, Christian home. But none of this came easy. With the birth of my first child came a decline in time spent with God. It didn’t get better with child number 2 or 3. Instead, I reached a low, dark place after the birth of my third child. Each day was harder and more frustrating than the one before. I hated getting up in the morning. I snapped and was angry nearly all the time. Sure, I could wax poetic about my paradise life with my wonderful husband and beautiful children. But the reality was that I couldn’t wait for this stage of irritation to pass so I could have some peace and quiet. Maybe when my kids were teenagers it would be better!

A change came for me when I heard a woman talking about anger on the radio (Juli Barnhill, She’s Gonna Blow, real help for moms dealing with anger). I ordered the book she wrote and devoured its pages with tears running down my face. It was exactly what I needed to hear. No longer was anger a justifiable excuse for my circumstances. I realized it was a sin to treat my children and husband with snappy, irritated tones. I immediately repented of my behavior and vowed to my God that I would rely on His strength, not my own. The vow was the easy part. I spent years in this irriated cycle -- my habits were very hard to break. Changing my reactions to every given frustration throughout the long, tiring days was the hardest thing I’ve ever done and continue to do. From the emotional to the practical, I’m learning to make everything count. I don't want to fast forward through these years with my little ones; I want to find joy, and remember every step.

It felt like I was waking from a blurry dream and I realized that I had completely neglected my relationship with God. I had a newborn (who I was nursing 10 times a day), a toddler (who I was trying to potty train), and a preschooler (who I was homeschooling). Anyone could agree with me when I said, “I don’t have time!” Yet, I was thirsty for the Word and a devotional time that would feed my soul and encourage me during the relentless days of mothering. I found contentment with reading my Bible and working my way through books like, Having a Mary Heart in a Martha World (Joanna Weaver). I was longing for a devotional type book that I could read along with the Bible, but it had to be something I could do quickly. I wanted to read something written by a mom like me -- she would know where I was coming from, but I couldn't find anything by anyone with little ones (and it's no small wonder).

When Andrea told me about her idea for “Drops” a few years ago (yes, YEARS), it went in one ear and out the other. She has always had the dream of writing a book. Not me. I hoped it would be something that worked out for her. All the while, God was working on my heart, showing me that I had a story that needed to be shared with other moms. Through my personal blog I felt encouraged to write and it was when both Andrea and I were ready to take on a project that everything started coming together. I am so glad you are here. It means you are seeking a deeper relationship with Christ. The Bible is our number ONE source, so make sure to read the Bible passages that relate to each post.

As writers here, none of us are saying, “We have it all figured out!” We are busy moms with small children and have daily chaos. But we do know one thing for certain and that is consistent Bible study and prayer are a life source and will feed even the busiest, most frazzled person. Thank you for reading my personal story. I am a work in progress and I share from my experience. It might not be the same as yours, but I pray we will grow together.

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