Friday, July 27

Fear of Asking God For Help?

Read Psalm 37:3-9

I do not like asking for help.  Asking for help makes me feel weak and opens up the possibility of rejection.  That kind of vulnerability makes my stomach turn.

When I was 22 years old I watched my so called dreams crumble.  I became a single Mom to a beautiful brown eyed little boy.  He depended on me to take care of him and it became my sole responsibility to make sure he had all of his needs met.

I had no job.  I didn't have a car.  I didn't have a house to live in.  I had a car seat, an umbrella stroller, and two suitcases filled with clothes.  Meeting the needs of my child didn't seem possible.

I found myself in line at the Department of Human Services applying for food stamps and medical assistance.  I was filled with embarrassment.  I wasn't supposed to be receiving government assistance.  I was supposed to be living the picture perfect dream.  But I wasn't.  I needed help and I had to request it.

At that moment I felt like a failure.  Like I had let myself and my baby down by taking "handouts."  But I did it anyway because I didn't see any other options.

Eventually I figured it all out.  I no longer needed those benefits but I could look back and realize how fortunate I was to receive them.  My feelings of inadequacy faded and I instead looked at those food stamps as a blessing.  Not only did they allow me to put food on the table but they erased any previous judgment I had towards people who received government assistance.

Sometimes I apply the same fear of vulnerability towards my relationship with God.  I start to keep requests from Him because I'm too afraid to say them out loud.

What if He thinks I'm being selfish?

What if He says no?

What if I don't like His suggestion?

What if He doesn't think it is as important as I do?

Those thoughts creep into my mind and prevent me from exposing my hearts desire to God.

"Ask and it will be given to you; 

seek and you will find; 

knock and the door will be opened to you."

Matthew 7:7

Over and over again the bible tells us that God wants to meet our needs.  He wants us to sit down and talk to Him about what is on our mind.  He is not burdened by our requests for help.  Whether it is something that seems less important like, "God, where are my keys?"  Or if it is a major life problem, "God, please heal my marriage."  He wants you to ask.

"Therefore I tell you, 

whatever you ask for in prayer, 

believe that you have received it, 

and it will be yours."

Mark 11:24

Don't be ashamed or scared to go to God with your concerns or desires.  He does not get sick of hearing from you.  Go ahead and put in your request, no matter how big or small, God wants to talk to you!  Don't ever be afraid to turn to God for help.

-Ashley K.

1 comment:

Christa Forsythe said...

Loved what you wrote... beautiful words! Thanks! My heart needed to hear them.